Trudging the Happy Road of Destiny

Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and feel like "I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, and gosh darn it people don't like me?" That's  a big exaggeration, but I woke up this morning feeling very "meh". Kind of less-than. My neck and shoulders have been more sore than ever, my creative inspiration to knit and sew has gone flying out the window, and I seem to be disappointing people left, right, and sideways.  I'm hoping that the pain in my neck and shoulders are just part of the getting-stronger process that comes with new exercises, and I'm not inadvertently making it worse.  Strange thing for an MT to say, right? Shouldn't I know these things? Well, sometimes the answer is pretty clear, and sometimes it's not.

So what does one do when you wake up  to a "meh" day? I haven't a clue, but here's what I did:

• Immediately stripped my bed and and started some laundry 
• Made a cup of tea 
• Did my wii fit routine 
• Flipped the laundry and started a new load

It's not much, but at least it's something.  I wanted to be a little bit productive so I have *something* at least to feel good about today. I was going to brush my dogs and do a tiny bit of sewing before work, but I just got a call that I have to go in sooner than I thought. So I pretty much have time to eat some breakfast, get up to Newport for my Dr.'s check-in appt., and that's about it. The dogs will have to wait until tonight or tomorrow morning, or else it'll have to be saturday. When I've been asked "why haven't you been sewing?" and I tell them I haven't had the time since switching to a permanent afternoon schedule, they always ask "What the heck do you do with the rest of your time?" I just don't know how to answer them. I wake up reasonably early, check e-mails, facebook, twitter, etc., take the dogs out, make some breakfast, feed the dogs, do some yoga, and that seems to leave me with about an hour of useable morning to get anything else done. Then by the time I get home in the evening, it's too late to get any projects started and still get to bed at a reasonable hour. Can we add a few more hours to the day, please?

Bitch and moan, bitch and moan. Sorry, everyone! Here's how the wii'ing (HA!) went this morning:
BEFORE I even stepped on the balance board, here's what the Judgy McJudgerson wii had to say.  First it asked me "remember when I asked if you knew the reason for your weight gain?" (I hadn't had a gain in a couple of days, THANKYOUVERYMUCH!!)

Gee, THAT was motivating! 

So I dutifully took the damn body test so I could mark the calendar that I'd worked out today. And hey! 

I felt really great about that!!

After the basic balance, it'll give you a couple of tests to further gauge your balance. Then it give you your wii fit age. Mine can fluctuate all over the place, depending on the day. But today:

This is what initially came up. Not bad!

Then something really weird happened. An "8" came falling from above and squashed the 7!

Yeah, don't look so happy, mii. That was a slap in the face.

WTF?! Is the wii out to discourage me in any way it can? Is this boot camp? Maybe it wants to break me down before rebuilding me, just like the Marine Corp. It sounds totally silly, but that just contributed to the "sigh....meh" overall discouraged feeling of the day so far. But yay for me, I did my whole routine.

When I have the time, I'm going to refresh and start using my awesome iPad "to-do" app again and get organized so I won't feel like the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head. Next step (I'm DREADING this one though, because I'm not in a great financial place right now) is to get back on track with mint.com and check back in with my budgets. Wanna talk about Judgy McJudgersons and nagging? The mint.com app sends you alerts when you've overspent in a particular area (like gas, pets, etc)  have accrued a finance charge on an account, and nags you when your balance gets low. You either have to REALLY keep on top of things to make mint happy, or develop a thick skin and shrug it off when it nags you and makes you feel like you're a terrible person who can't manage their money.  

Well, I'm about out of time, so I'll quit my moaning and make this day a lot better. Please tell me some of you have these days too!

Just a suggestion to any potential comedians out there, rape is NEVER funny. Ever ever.

One thing I absolutely love about blogging, is it allows you to take a step back and appreciate things as a potential story for future writing. Perfect example: tonight.

My friend "S" is going through a really tough time.  Today was a particular day that would have marked what should have been a happy occassion in better circumstances.  I had gotten home an hour or two before, and had been chilling out reading a magazine and watching a movie.  "S" called while I was out of the room, filling doggie dishes with dinner.  This in itself is unusual, because "S" and I are relatively new friends, and we've never done the "call just to chat" thing. We've hung out just the two of us on only one other occassion, so I immediately called her back, thinking that something might be wrong.  She wanted to meet up for food and drinks somewhere, and even though I was a bit tired, I wanted to spend time with her.  After a lot of calling around, seeing what time restaurants closed, it was settled that we would go to Hennessey's in Dana Point.

.........sigh.........

Apparently Monday nights are comedy nights at Hennessey's. Presumably, open mic comedy nights, judging from the "talent" that was there. First, let me say that I give FULL props to anybody who has the guts to get up there on stage and put themselves out there, for better or worse.  Especially comedy. Comedy is such a subjective thing, and it's VERY hit or miss with your audience. What you think is funny might leave a room full of crickets chirping, or the worst joke you know leaves everyone howling with laughter. Your ego usually rides on the tenuous mood of the audience on any given night. Full props. THAT BEING SAID.........

Most of these guys were NOT funny. Not only NOT funny, but offensive. Not the "Family Guy" kind of offensive where you're snickering, but kind of ashamed of yourself for snickering. We're talking about SO crass and offensive that it makes you squirm in your seat, embarrassed for the guy on stage. One guy was making jokes that were so incredibly racist and offensive, he managed to offend

1. Black people
2. Hispanic people
3. Asians
4. Transgender and the entire LGBT community at large
5. Disabled people

During the next guy's routine, an older white guy interrupted, taking issue with the white comedian's black culture and history degree he earned in college. Then he proceeded to sit in front of the stage at a small table that a black guy and his white, blond girlfriend were sitting at and STARE at them. He rested his hands on his chin and STARED at the black dude. Just stared. He stared with this infuriating smug smile on his face. As far as I could tell, he didn't say anything, he just made him very, very uncomfortable.  S and I couldn't believe what we were seeing. She said "are we going to witness a brawl break out or something?" "I was just thinking that..." I said.  The black guy and his girlfriend just got up and left, not engaging or saying anything. The jackass white dude just waved his fingers condescendingly at them as they went out the door. My jaw was hanging open and I couldn't help but say "whaaat an aaassshoooole" a bit louder than a whisper. S and I kept looking at each other and wrinkling our foreheads and eyebrows, wondering if we'd just stepped into a bad movie. This was bizarre.  Really, really bizarre.

The host of the evening (and the first comedian to go on) heckled S and I because we weren't laughing, and were just keeping to our own company, enjoying our drinks and food.  He wasn't funny. Like, *really* not funny.  You can't win! If you laugh, you're encouraging them. If you don't laugh, you're singled out and heckled. I just wanted to get out of there. Two of the comedians knew when to git while the gittin' was good, and got off stage pretty quickly. One guy was actually kind of funny, but he packed it in early too. Rough crowd, I guess. *innocent look*

Anyway, when the fourth "comedian" took the stage, we had about had enough. S was still willing to giggle at the jokes that were kind of funny, but I've always been a tough critic when it comes to comedy. I don't laugh as readily as some, and as a general rule I don't enjoy standup comedy unless they're really REALLY good. (ie, Eddie Izzard, George Carlin, etc) There are many times I wish I had a more sensitive funnybone.  SO. Fourth comedian. *sigh* First of all, he started making VERY sexist jokes (I just had to delete a bunch of stuff I'd written about his routine, because I want to keep it somewhat clean. And he wasn't. At all. Sorry, use your imaginations - think of the most offensive, sexist crap you've ever heard in your life and I'm sure he said it). Then he made jokes about wanting to kill himself. Repeatedly. Side note: S has been studying forensic psychology, going for her Master's degree. She doesn't find any of this amusing at all, because it's something to be taken very seriously and reported. He must have seen me rolling my eyes and S's blank face, both of us clearly exuding "dude, you're really not funny." At one point, I leaned over and whispered to S, "it's like a wild animal - don't run, you'll only attract their attention". This is exactly what happened. I wish I could remember precisely what he said, but the disgust and rage pretty much wiped my memory except for the bare bones.

Drumroll..........

Wait for it.......

He said something along the lines of "Hey, you're not laughing. That's okay, 'cause these guys over here are probably going to RAPE you in the parking lot as you're leaving in a back alley."

Total disbelief. He did NOT just say that. I said "exCUSE me?!" I turned to S and said "that's it, we're leaving right now." S said "let's pay our bill, then we can go". Dude wouldn't let it go though. S said something like "Don't make me 5150 your ass" (something to do with psych social code reporting, I hope she can clarify this sometime) and he said "How do you know police codes?". Before I could stop myself, I said "how do YOU know police codes?" The audience thought this was pretty funny.  I kept getting more and more enraged at his chauvanistic, pig jokes. He said something about us being all offended, and I said "yeah, dude. You just told us we're going to be RAPED outside. Really NOT FUNNY."And when he ran with comments like "you should be thankful you got a warning! Usually there's no warning for that! Here it comes, I'm gonna shove it in you!" it took every ounce of my self control not to go up there and kick his testicles into his brain. Really. I can't make this up.

I pushed my hand toward him and said "you need to stop, RIGHT NOW." The audience was howling at the "warning" part of his jokes, and I'm sure my face turned beet red with my immense rage. Rage at the audience too, for thinking this was acceptable. Jokes about rape? NEVER okay. Anyone who knows me knows I usually don't speak up, I HATE confrontation, and will do anything to avoid it. But this guy.........this guy brought all the rage I had ever felt toward sexist assholes to the surface and I wanted to pound him into oblivion. Our server brought our credit cards back with the receipts, we signed them, and started to walk out.

S got in a parting shot "Good luck with your career, dude!"

His retort? "Good luck with your LIVES!"

Good one, dude. Snappy comeback. Really. I flipped him the finger.


Post mortem: In the car, S talked about his comments about suicide. She said they really weren't funny, and if she were his psychiatrist, she would be obligated to report him as being a danger to himself. I agreed, because I got the feeling that part of him wasn't kidding. There was something desperate about him. Maybe he was up there on stage seeking social approval, wanting attention he wasn't getting otherwise. I felt a bit sorry for him, because he was so UNfunny, and because I could see him in my imagination. Sitting at home alone, incredibly depressed, wondering if it was worth even living. I got where he was coming from, and for a moment I understood him, and felt sorry for him. But.........

Any man (I don't even want to call him a man....) who thinks that making jokes about rape (directly TO women in the audience), crass jokes about objectifying and belittling women "I was SO drunk, I wanted to tell her to 'suck my **** and I'll lick your *****', but all that came out was 'suck my ******') is funny and great comedic material doesn't deserve my pity. Go play in traffic, dude. Wearing black. At night.

I can't even remember the last time I was this angry. This is the type of angry that comes in my dreams sometimes, when I'm dreaming about beating the **** out of school bullies I wish I'd had the guts to stand up to all throughout school. Those rich, satisfying dreams where I'm grabbing their arms and heaving them over my back and slamming them to the ground repeatedly. Issues? Me? Nope. Just a "nice" girl who never had the guts to stand up for herself. But you know what? I'm pretty damn proud of myself for telling that guy off tonight, even if he blew it off as comedy fodder. At least I had the guts to try and put him in his place, and S backed me up beautifully. Even as I'm writing this, I'm so angry I need to go watch a movie about puppies, or fish getting lost, or some other movie that will diffuse this acid eating away at me.

Moral of the story? Rape is never funny, people. Never.

*ETA* after I wrote this last night, I fired off an email to the contact on Hennessey's website, just to let them know what had happened and how I never wanted to go back there again. A friend on Facebook suggested linking the contact here, and for a brief second, I was tempted to. After some thought though, I decided not to. If you guys had been there and seen/heard it too, I would totally be behind you guys 100% bombarding them with the wrath of Khan. Of course, if you wanted to go to their website directly and send an email anyway, there's really nothing I could do about that. ;) Even after a good night's sleep and a fresh perspective, yep....still pissed. Not in that "it's going to ruin my day" sort of pissed, just the "yeah, there really was no wrong way to interpret that whole debacle, and it's never going to be funny" sort of way. But I've had my tea, done my yoga, and it's a beautiful day. Life is good.

Paralyzed by possibilities

Let me ask you a question. Do you ever have SO many things you want to do, so many ideas for projects to work on, things you want to write about, places you want to go (even if it's just walking the puppies in a pretty place) that you wind up doing absolutely nothing at all? Welcome to my life. Here's what I would like to do today.

• Work on test knit for Stefanie Japel
• Write totally entertaining blog posts complete with pictures
• Sew lots and lots of things for my shop to help pay some bills
• Play some more with metal stamping set
• Walk dogs at the harbor on this gorgeous day
• Vacuum my room and do laundry
• Get my butt up to Newport for a weight check-in and prescription refill

And here's what I've actually done.

• Had an english muffin, a banana, and tea for breakfast
• Stamped "Wonderfully Awkward" on strips of metal
• Scanned said metal strips into my computer to try out a new blog header (not quite *me*, I decided)
• Waited on hold for 40 minutes with the OC Court system to try and pay my registration fix-it ticket.

Yeah. That's it. And it's nearly noon. I'm completely ashamed of myself and am full of self-loathing, even though those aren't productive feelings at all. On the upside, the $280 I thought I owed as a fine turned out to be the cost of my registration that I've already paid. I only owe them $25, if I understand correctly, and I got an extension til May 6th. Woot! I will NOT use that as an excuse to procrastinate. I will NOT use that as an excuse to procrastinate. Repeat ad nauseum.

Hmm...so what will I do with the three hours or so until I have to go to work? I really should finish that dog bed I started like, a month ago. It's going to be super cute, just you wait! I'm way behind on the test knit, but my poor dogs have been so cooped up and stir-crazy lately. Okay, that kind of narrows it down.  Alright, alright. I'll take them for a nice two hour walk at the harbor, then use the last hour or so before work to knit. No sewing, dammit, but that's what I get for being a no good lazy procrastinator.

I've been feeling the need to read inspiring self-help quotes and stuff lately, and read an awesome article the other day that I want to print out and put in my paper journal (that I haven't written in for a long time....go figure) I wanted to share it with you all, in case you need a little "yay me" boost too.

Tiny Buddha: 4 Simple Steps to Freedom
On twitter this morning, a certain knitter I love and admire asked for a little pat on the back. This made me love her even more. I wrote something encouraging (and completely true) and shared the article link with her. We all need to ask for some support and encouragement sometimes, especially on days when we don't feel so much like Wonder Woman. That's one of the reasons I love comments on my blog here - it lets me know someone's actually reading, and actually cares, even if I'm "writing for myself". How ego-centric am I?! Ah well, we are what we are. Everyone needs positive reinforcement sometimes, right?

Crafting stuff! (On a craft blog? NO!)
It was my dear friend Kathy's daughter's 2nd birthday this past weekend, so I made this for Sophie:

It's a super duper cute tutorial/pattern from 2 Little Hooligans, click the link if you want to make one too! The wings and around the eyes looks black, but it's actually a nice navy blue fleece. It was really hard to get a decent picture.  I didn't download the pattern, because I wanted to make it a bit bigger than I thought it would be. I eyeballed it, so he's a bit wonky. But the important thing is Sophie loved him. Kathy left me a message on my facebook this morning telling me that Sophie slept with him last night and wouldn't put him down when she got up. That totally made my entire day!

Okey dokey. Off to the harbor with me and the pooches. Here I go. Watch me move.....quick like ninja. *sigh* Why is momentum so difficult?

Tomorrow there will be a surprise for you all (hint: it involves the boogie earbuds and a giveaway!), so keep your eyes peeled! (eww..why has my family always used that phrase?)

Run for your lives! It's the SHOULD monster!!

Well, I'm being a bit overdramatic.  It's mostly the acceptance that some things aren't going to get done, and the acceptance that sometimes I need to be nice to myself and let go of all the things I "should" be doing.  Here's the "should" list:

• Sewing. I have a dog bed half finished, I should finish that. I should sew yarn houses for my knitting group and my etsy site. I should be making more neck pillows for my clients at work. I should be making myself (and a couple of craftsters) interchangeable knitting needle cases. 
• Knitting. I should be knitting more. I'm so far behind on my Iknitarod project, I'm definitely not going to finish before the end of the race. I guess Guido will be coming to bust my kneecaps. 

That's as far as I've gotten on my Salem hooded jacket. Both sleeves, and the bottom body band. *sigh* I could say "I've been busy with work! Or, "I was working on getting the Iknitarod website up!" All this would be true, but it's also a LOT of the typical ol' "I don't WANNA work on what I SHOULD be working on, I wanna do this other thing that seems like far more fun, or much more productive than doing what I actually SHOULD be doing. This is my eternal ADD curse. Yes, I am clinically diagnosed with ADD. 

• Writing. All day, every day, I'm thinking about things I want to write about. Projects I want to post. Yet I procrastinate. I procrastinate because it takes time, procrastinate because I'm unsure of what kinds of things I should share, and what should be kept private. That's no excuse for not writing about projects though. Again, bad bad Bonnie. Bad. I always seem to find a reason why I can't write. I'm wiped after work, the dogs need my attention, there's always something else that seems more pressing. I even tell myself "it doesn't matter, nobody's going to be mad at you for NOT writing". Life moves too fast though, and I should be writing more to capture a mental snapshot (and sometimes actual snapshots!) of what life is like right now. Details and events get forgotten, they should be written about.  Nobody will ever read what doesn't get written. Does that make sense? Maybe it's the wine talking.
• I should be exercising my dogs every single day. This is a major major major guilt factor. And it should be! (there's that SHOULD again...argh!) My dogs deserve more exercise attention, and I've been terrible about it lately.
• I should be spending time with my friends. Keeping in contact with them. Okay, here's the big giant confession on that. This is going to be a HUGE digression. I recently ended my relationship of six years. I can't air all my dirty laundry here, as much as I'd like to (Honest people, I"m all about it). But the fact of the matter is, it's complicated and there's no bad guy. Just different people with different goals who still love each other very much, but want different things. I was simply finally being honest with myself and admitting that I want to get married someday. On that note, I guess I was avoiding talking with my friends because I didn't want to deconstruct the whole thing. I didn't want to explain and go over and over and over it, and I didn't want to hear anything anyone else had to say. It's something I had to sort through myself and resolve feelings without any influence.  That said, I love my friends more than life itself, but I tend to implode and disappear when I'm not in a very good place. 
• I should call and spend time with my grandmother. Oooh boy. That's another ginormous guilt elephant in the room. My grandfather recently passed away, and I loved him very very much. He was the nicest, kindest man I've ever known, and I miss him a lot.  Alzheimers is an ugly disease, and you feel like you lose the person way before they're actually gone.  Hiding is a selfish, ugly act that I'm completely ashamed of. I'm owning it right here. I'm terrible with bad emotions, and I tend to hide from them. Especially when it comes to death, I don't know what to do or say. I adore my grandmother, and I need to get off my repressed, lazy ass and spend some time with her. Bad Bonnie. Bad bad bad. 

These "shoulds" are killing me and I know I'll feel much better if I confront them head on.  Except for the one about my grandmother, there is a flipside. The flipside is this: Being nice to yourself and letting go of a lot of those "shoulds" can be very therapeutic.  The world won't collapse, Guildo won't come bust my kneecaps if these other projects don't get done right away.  People might be disappointed in me, but that's something I'm willing to accept the consequences of.  Sometimes allowing yourself to let go of  expectations and sitting around knitting and watching Desperate Housewives all weekend is exactly what you need.  The guilt might nag at you, but sometimes it's just okay.  My neck and head have been super painful lately, and leaning over a cutting board of fabric, or sitting at a sewing machine is not helpful. Even talking adds muscular stress, especially given the situations that have happened lately that friends and family might want to talk about and deconstruct. Being quiet, trying to relax the strained muscles seems like a lot smarter thing to do. So yes, I'm being nice to myself. 

Here's some things I AM proud of though:

• I got the Iknitarod website put up, even if I'm not updating right now. That's another huge should, but at least the website is up. Yay me!
• The dogs are getting brushed every couple of days, the floor is getting vaccumed of dog hair, and my bedding is getting washed once or twice a week to keep husky fur at a minimum. They're still blowing their coats, and even for all my effort I'm still breathing and wearing husky fur. 
• My room is staying pretty darn nice. The laundry is staying under control, my comfy chair isn't covered with junk, and my craft supplies are staying pretty organized. I still have work to do on my sewing desk, and I have to continue organizing my fat quarters, but overall I'm pretty damn proud of how beautiful, inspiring, and wonderful my room is. Pictures coming soon. 
• My plants are well cared for. I love my plants. They're all doing very well right now, and they bring me joy every day. Again, pictures coming soon. 

Whew! Thanks for listening to my rambling. I guess I get kind of contemplative and maudlin when there's a glass of wine involved. Tomorrow, I want to do a post on all the cool projects I've been working on lately, and I hope you'll stay tuned and see what they are! Trust me, I have been a very busy crafter lately. Crafting has been my therapy and my lifeline lately. I totally want a picture of Dori (from Finding Nemo) that says "just keep knitting, just keep knitting, just keep knitting knitting knitting...." Crafting makes me feel productive and proud, and I'm so thrilled to have that in my life.  Craft on, everyone!

Oh!! By the way, I'm giving the twitter thing another shot, and actually having fun with it! Follow my tweets!

Scenes from a darkened room

There's pictures at the end! Promise! I know, it's not the "lost in La Pine" post I've been promising, but I'm more in the mood for ruminations and rambling. Today was go-go-go non stop. The holiday season and the afternoon massage therapist (we'll call her C)'s imminent motherhood has my work schedule pretty much booked solid. This is awesome, and I'm completely grateful. Really. January tends to be a little slow, so anything extra right now will help with vacation and slow times. So, yay for the busy! Today was a flurry of solid activity. Here's how it went:

8-1:30 - booked solid work schedule

1:45 - pull into parking structure at Shops at Mission Viejo, witness man being arrested while more cops checked out a black mustang. (on a side note, I wouldn't call myself nosy, because I refuse to be one of those infuriating looky-lou's that blatantly stares. Class, people, get some. However, I am curious by nature and would have
LOVED to know the story there. Not the same thing as nosy. What!? It's not!!)

2:15- pick up laptop from apple store (no love for you, apple store, with your screaming children and pretentious employees)

2:30 - narrowly escape mall, but not before being horrified at the yeti-pelt vests and coats they're trying to pass off as "fashion". Me? NOT a fashionista. Ever. But I know ugly when I see it. Why would someone want to look Iike they're being swallowed sideways by Sweetums the muppet? OMMNOMNOMNOM!

2:40- bravely enter the 5 north, wondering if it's reheeheeally worth holiday traffic into Costa Mesa to get laptop fixed. Yes, yes it is. Le sigh.

3:30- drop off laptop to awesome Techroom, laugh and bond with nice girl helping me, said goodbye to laptop.

3:45 - pulled into UPS store nearby (never used UPS before, but how much more expensive can it really be? Famous last words.....). Did final inspection for loose threads and dog hair on items to be shipped, discovered that cellphone pouch snaps were not attached well enough and came off. Panic.

4:00 - pulled into nearby Michaels to pick up new snap pliers and snaps.

4:50- while sitting in Michaels parking lot, finally get snaps replaced and secured (yes, almost an hour. I hate those pliers, I hate those snaps)

5:00 - pull into UPS store, gather items to be shipped, talk to nice boy to get an estimate on how much to ship each item.

5:01 - literally snort and gather my things, telling him "thank you for your help, but I'll pass" when he states that the cheapest shipping will be $12 per item. I'm sure the customers would understand. It's a principle thing.

6:00 - arrive home after deciding to take PCH. 55 to the 405 to the 5? On a holiday weekend? Noooo thank you.

After being home for all of two minutes, the power went out.

Let me take a moment to explain something. Nothing ever happens in south orange county. I was born and raised here, and everybody Iives in a little cocoon of sameness. Same weather, the same places, the same happenings. If there's rain, or lightning, or crime, or a power outage, you bet your booty everyone you know is going to post about it on Facebook. Most people would find a power outage to be something freakout-worthy (ZOMG!!1111!!!eleventyone! I can't watch my reality television!), but I not-so-secretly love it. When I was little, and the power would go out, my Mom would bring out the old glass hurricane lamps and put them on a little table in the hallway as a nightlight. Then she would crawl into bed with my sister and I and read us stories. Cool stories. The old Grimm fairytales that involved scary witches, dogs with eyes as big as dinner plates and evil stepsisters chopping off their own toes and heels. It was special, and most of all, DIFFERENT. Out of the ordinary. I adored it. As a teenager, I was a fire marshall's nightmare, because I was constantly lighting the millions of candles I had all over my room. A copy of the Star Trek book "Federation" bears testament to this with its slightly charred, melted book jacket. Girl scout swear, this is true. It was accidental, and the carpet doesn't hold a grudge. I think.

To this day, I feel a strong pang of disappointment when the power comes back on. It marks the return of the status quo, the same ol' same ol'. Boring. Orange county. And yes, the power came back on about an hour ago, but I'm clinging to that feeling that things aren't the same as usual. Things got simplified for a while, and I'm not ready to let that go yet. So here I sit, in my bed, in my room, surrounded by candles and silence and sleeping huskies. For right now, things are different from the status quo. I'm not missing out on awesome social events tonight (okay, so yes I am....but we're pretending. Remember?), but instead I am reconnecting with my younger, more imaginative self who used to pretend that she was one of those characters in her beloved books who carried candles to light her path, wrote in a journal with a feather quill by candlelight, felt deeply that she was born in entirely the wrong century. I liked that Bonnie. She was full of inspiration and creativity. I'll be the first to admit, I'm a techmology whore. If it's new and nifty, I WANT it. Want with the fire of a thousand burning suns. I love me some groovy gadgets, but I also relish a simpler, more centered existence. It's nice to sit here in candlelight, not having to rewind whatever is playing on the dvr because I was too busy cruising the net on my ipad (see: techmology whore) or checking facebook. So to try and share a little bit of this blissful, simplified evening I will leave you, my one loyal reader (hi, mom!) with a few pictures of my little universe while the power was out this evening.






My knitting/reading corner. The plants and other cuteness make me ridiculously happy.




The owl was a gift from one of my bestest best friends Monica, and the hedgehog from Target had to keep him company. Woodland creatures. It's a crafter thing, just go with it.




You can tell Loki and Rowan are seriously worried about the power outage.




You're still going to feed us, RIGHT?! I know where you sleep, woman.....