I talk too much. Waaaaaaay too much. After long bouts of pondering, I've come to the conclusion that it's out of a desire to be understood. I try to phrase things in the perfect way, to pick EXACTLY the right words to convey my thoughts. I fail, try again, fail, try again, repeat ad nauseum until I'm telling myself in my head to "shut up! You're talking too much!" Yet the compulsion continues. Add alcohol, and I'm an unstoppable yammering machine. I'm hoping this site will be a way for me to get my thoughts down without assaulting anyone who's willing to listen to my endless barrage of inane chatter. Maybe if I can get it all out here I'll be less inclined to talk incessantly.
Why "Wonderfully Awkward"? Because Awkwardly Awkward would be a bit redundant. Also, if my life is going to be a constant string of embarrassing and awkward moments, I might as well try to make an entertaining story out of it and make you laugh and be happy you aren't me.
I had to learn a long time ago to swallow my pride and laugh at myself. As a child, I used to get upset and pouty at all the indignities I suffered. I wanted so badly to portray myself as dignified and "together", that whenever my cover was blown I'd try to save face or get all butt-hurt. Yeah. That worked REAL well. It's best just to chuckle (if you can) and say "haha, that's SO me!" because then at least you're in on the joke.
I'm not constantly tripping over my own feet, or a complete Bridget Jones ALL of the time, mind you. There are a few things I'm quite good at. I grew up playing piano and cello from the age of 7, and I'm pretty darn good. I've lost most of my piano skills, but cello still remains something I'm pretty accomplished at. Sewing also kind of surprised me, and I'm constantly impressed and proud of the things I make. Opening my etsy shop has been one of the best pride and ego boosters in my life so far. No matter how much of a doofus I feel like most of the time, it feels great to whip out a project and KNOW it's something I can be proud of. When people look at the things I've knit and say "you're so talented!", it makes me laugh. I followed a pattern. Usually. Knitting is basically following instructions, and unless you're designing things, not much talent is involved. Practice? Sure. Talent? Not so much. Crafting feeds my soul like nothing else I've ever found. The craft section of Highlights magazine was like my porn as a kid. I wanted to make EVERYTHING they had on those two pages every issue. Remember Highlights magazine? Child of the 80's right here!
If you've read this far, you get a cookie. Here's my basic stats in a nutshell. Here goes.
I'm currently 31, moved back in with my parents in the summer of '10, and I live in Orange County, CA. "Oooh! You're so lucky! It's so pretty there!" I hear this all the time. But ya know what? Orange County is one of the most expensive, high cost-of-living places you can be. My boyfriend and I had a beautiful place within spitting distance of the beach, but being a Marine and moving around, we had to leave it. He's currently outside Philadelphia being a recruiter for the next three years, and there's no way I could leave my job and find something comparable out there. I've got debts and two furry mouths to feed, so I stayed behind. I don't want to leave my job anyway, since it's the best place I've ever worked. Sports massage therapist by day, crazy crafter by, well....the rest of the time. I have two awesome siberian huskies, Loki and Rowan, who are almost 3 and 2.5, respectively. Their pictures get posted. A lot. They're my kids, the only kind I'll ever have. I love them more than life itself.
Okay, okay, I'll wrap this up. I have about a bazillion more things I'd love to write about, but I should hold some back for future post fodder, right? Thank you for reading, I LOVE comments, live long and prosper, nanoo nanoo (see? Child of the 80's!), all that jazz.