|It's a tough life, making sure this fabric stays put....|
A few hours ago, I posted this to Facebook off the top of my head:
Why is it that when you feel like "I'm f*ing amazing, strong, and independent" is when you don't need it, then when you need it most, you don't feel that way at all? It'd be nice if you could send yourself notes into the past and the future.
Well, while I haven't yet perfected sending notes back in time to myself, I have attempted to send notes to my future self. There's a cool little chalkboard thingee in my room which reads "Kick ass and make stuff", and before that it read: "You're awesome, and don't you forget it!". It's my version of "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me..." I hope you get that joke. It sounds hokey, but in a small way it's an attempt to send a note to my future self saying "keep your head up". Of course, the times when it's needed most is when it's easiest to dismiss it and roll my eyes at how stupid that sounds. Ah, silly future self. On the tougher days, the thing that helps me the most is to think about all the AMAZING, strong, creative women who have my back and keep reassuring me that we all have each other's backs. Especially my fellow husky owners and fellow crafters....I'll tell ya, these ladies are a force of nature to be reckoned with. My favorite kind of people.
......I kinda forgot where I was going with all that. Sorry! I rented Super 8, and it's playing in the background right now. The train crash just happened, which was super spectacular and incredible, and I have the attention span of.....well....a person with ADD. Which I am.....Anyway! What was I saying?
Woah!! Dude with melted face!! Sorry...movie again. Ever see "Up"? SQUIRREL!! Yeah, that'd be me. WOAH!! Dude with melted face is alive!! Sorry again....Maybe I should pause the movie until I'm finished writing. Can you tell most of my writing is stream-of-consciousness? I rarely go back and read what I've written after it's been published, which is probably a good thing. Also, I totally want that rainbow striped shirt the chubby kid wears in the movie.
On a happier note (life isn't all teenage-angst, I swear!), my very best friend in the whole wide world, my partner in crime and hetero-life-mate Morgan flew in from England today!! I haven't seen her yet, but just knowing she's a few miles away at her parents' house makes me want to do a happy dance. Also, I'll be going to my friend Kathy's house for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Yay!! Kathy's a first-rate cook, and I love her and her family dearly. I've known her since high school, and she's become a fellow crafter. We're planning on knitting/crocheting after chowing down. Perfect Thanksgiving! Her daughter Sophie is the freaking cutest thing you've ever seen (and I am NOT a kid person) and calls me 'Bon-Bon". She gets that from her mother.
Are you still reading? Sucker..... *wink*
Okay, so here's the wrap-up. I swear this new journaling prompt thingee is what's getting me to write. Otherwise I wouldn't even know where to begin!
Listening: "Heart of Glass" was just playing in the movie, otherwise it's suspenseful music and dialogue.
AAAHH!!! OMG!!! KILLER ALIEN!! Okay, so I didn't pause the movie. Can you tell? FOCUS PRUITT!!
Eating: *sigh* Promise not to tell? I just finished my McDonald's fries, and I still have a small cheeseburger waiting in the bag. It's cold by now, but who cares? Work wiped me out, and after not eating much at all today, I just wanted something, fast, easy, and indulgent. I'm weak.
Drinking: Water. I threw away the soda that came with the meal. Sleep is a valuable commodity, so caffeine from afternoon til bedtime is a no-no.
Wearing: (Why does this one always strike me as odd? Almost like "what are you wearing right now? *heavy breathing* Creepy stalker-like. Alright, pervs...I'm wearing my flannel owl jammies my Mom gave me for christmas last year. Wanna see? Man, you guys really are pervs. Joking! Joking!
That photo was taken last year when I got them. Still my favorites.
Feeling: Sleeeepy....my tylenol PM has kicked in, so I'm getting a little bleary-eyed and ready for sleep.
Weather: I'm pretty sure it's clear out there. Nice and cool, but clear. Today was sunny. Not that my pasty ass was out in the sun at any point today, but sunny nevertheless.
Wanting: To finish that other cheeseburger so I can focus on the movie and drift off to sleep. Mmmmm....sleep.....
Needing: Hmmmm......more practice writing? Seriously, is anybody still reading at this point? Don't feel bad if you aren't, this must read like some completely ego-centric 16 year old's diary. "Dear Diary...he talked to me today!! Can you believe it?!" Next day.... "My life is over! OVER!!"
Thinking: I'm thinking I'm going to have to go back a few chapters in the movie. I don't know if I've absorbed anything at all because my attention is on writing.
OH NO!!! Hang on, dude with the melted face!! Hang on!!
Enjoying: Kind of enjoying this weird, rambling, stream of consciousness style of writing. Almost like having a conversation.
That should wrap it up! (I know, I know...try to contain your disappointment.) I'm sure I'll have another extremely uninteresting word vomit upchuck post tomorrow. In the meantime, eat lots of turkey and stuffing, and let me know how your Thanksgivings were! I feel like I'm forgetting something.....Huh. Must not have been that important. G'night all!!
PS - I'll respond to comments from the last couple of posts tomorrow. There's a lot I want to write back to you guys, but I'm really bleary-eyed and tired, so it'll have to wait til tomorrow. Love you guys though! Thanks for hanging in there with me!